The First Love by Beverly Lewis

Author:Beverly Lewis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Contemporary Fiction;Amish—Fiction;Christian fiction;Religious fiction;Domestic fiction;FIC053000;FIC042000;FIC026000
ISBN: 9781493416011
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2018-07-08T16:00:00+00:00

Before supper, Rachel heard Joseph and the boys washing up outdoors after doing barn chores, their voices coming through the side door, which was open wide to let in the fresh air, warm and humid though it was.

Later, once all of them were seated in their regular spots, Joseph folded his callused hands and bowed his head for the table blessing. After a few moments, he raised his head and cleared his throat to signal the end of the prayer.

Rachel wasn’t prepared for the conversation that ensued as the sandwiches and chow chow were passed around. Joseph began by saying how glad he was to see Leroy present at the supper table. Why was her husband bringing this up now, singling Leroy out like this? True, Joseph had been displeased that his son was gone during the meal last evening. And later, when Maggie was off at the tent meeting.

“We’re a family,” Joseph said solemnly, “all of us.” He looked directly at Leroy.

“I shouldn’t have skipped out on supper yesterday,” Leroy said. “But I’m not tellin’ anyone where I went.” He stared at his tumbler of cold water.

“Well, and I’m not pryin’,” Joseph said. “I just assumed you’d gone on foot to see one of the cousins.” Joseph reached for the salt and pepper.

Rachel felt her stomach knot up and wished they’d saved this discussion for any other time, sparing the rest of them. Maggie, too, looked concerned it might move into something too heated for suppertime talk.

Leroy shifted in his seat, then eyed his father. “Guess I might as well say it—I walked clear up to the cemetery . . . to be with Mamm” came the stark words.

Miriam’s mouth turned down. “But Mamm’s gone,” she said sadly, blinking fast.

Leroy winced, his own gaze still on his father. “Jah,” he murmured.

“Aw . . . son.” Rachel’s words tumbled out before she realized it. She held her breath, knowing Leroy could well respond negatively.

After a long moment, Leroy looked across the table at her, yet he said nothing.

“I had no idea,” Joseph said, his tone gentle now. “The cemetery?”

Leroy slowly nodded. “No one but the Lord God knew.”

Sitting there, Rachel’s heart ached for him; the struggle to remain strong was apparent in every feature of his youthful face.

“I miss Mamm, too,” Stephen murmured quietly. “Awful much.”

Andy was nodding his head, too, his chubby cheeks stuffed with food like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

“It’s all right to talk about your Mamm in front of me,” Rachel said softly. “She’ll always be your mother . . . it’s only right that yous remember her together like this.”

“Rachel’s right,” Joseph said, smiling at her, then at the children. “It’s important to keep your Mamm’s memory alive.”

Surprised at the scope of emotions just displayed, Rachel decided that it was good this conversation had taken place over supper, all of them together.

A step forward in the right direction, she thought, hoping it was true.

Even so, a small emptiness unlocked in her, a sense that she might never find her own place of belonging in Joseph’s family.

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